How to be a weird alien

As you’d guess, I am drawn to books in which immigrants learn to understand the bizarre and strange ways of their new adopted country.
Some of the funniest – and best – are by George Mikes (How To Be An Alien), Nino Culotta (They’re A Weird Mob), and Bill Bryson.
Mutual incomprehension is a rich source of humour, so no wonder all were prolific writers.

Poster of Weird Mob film
They’re A Weird Mob was so successful, it was made into a film

How To Be An Alien is about a Hungarian (Mikes himself) trying to settle in England but almost completely without understanding of English ideas & culture! He then followed up with English Humour for Beginners (a must).
Culotta’s book is (purportedly) about an Italian adapting to Australia and is also gut-busting funny. The shine was taken off it a bit (though some people were actually very angry when they found out) when one discovers that it was in fact written, under the pseudonym, by an Aussie. But it’s still well-observed.
And Bill Bryson – an American astounded by European customs – is just the best I suppose…
They are all worth reading – even the older books.

So… help me please… does anyone have other examples of humorous books in which the author is puzzled by his/her new country? Just use the comments field below for your thoughts.

Also… examples of the funniest bits in such books?
I still remember Bryson’s example in which he wants to buy some applesin an old fashioned greengrocer’s shop, and says to the English owner that he doesn’t want any of the bruised apples on show. I don’t remember exactly the following passage, but it went something like this… — The greengrocer was outraged: “… if you don’t have your share of the bruised ones, then someone will be left with ALL the bruised apples. And that would not be right, sir, surely?” Bryson was too amazed to argue.
So … email me your examples – of books like this, or examples from such books.
I need the laugh…

Feel free to leave a comment (further down this page)

Blog: occasional images, occasional thoughts, occasional audio

TRAVELLING BOOKS – 3

This lovely lady – whom I know well, a loyal reader! – prefers to digest me on a computer. Well…

Yet another Travelling Book (downloaded on to a laptop this time)…

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“When Italians come to my place I offer them one or all of: porridge, sugar puffs, baked beans, fried bacon, marmite, Alphabetti Spaghetti on toast and – the worst horror of all – tea with milk. I have fewer Italian friends than I used to, which remains a mystery to me.”

— tweet

I posted this recently on Twitter. You could almost hear the collective gasp of revulsion coming out of my adopted land.
(Only joking, everybody! Er-hem.)

Feel free to leave a comment

Blog: occasional images, occasional thoughts, occasional audio

TRAVELLING BOOKS – 2

Take one of my books with you when you go shopping. You never know when you will need it

Here’s another Travelling Book (this time from a retail centre in Italy) to be going on with.

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“Piovere a catinelle”

— with thanks to anyone who has stood at a bus stop.

To rain wash basins (English: To rain cats and dogs). I don’t make these phrases up… either of them.

Blog: occasional images, occasional thoughts, occasional audio

TRAVELLING BOOKS – 1

A studious reader in the English Midlands

In the meantime, here’s a Travelling Book (from the UK Midlands) to be going on with.

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“I’d rather be in the Po Valley”

— with thanks to WC Fields.

The great pre-war comedian W.C. Fields is supposed to have claimed that even living in Philadelphia (in the USA) was better than being in a grave. I need to think about this.

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